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Man starts crowdfunding campaign to ban Nickelback from playing London

posted Oct 5, 2014, 1:14 AM by J Shaw   [ updated Oct 5, 2014, 1:16 AM ]
A recent and highly successful Kickstarter campaign to get the Foo Fighters to play Richmond, Virginia inspired inspired Craig Mandell to make use of crowdfunding for a similar goal. However, instead of bringing an act to London, Mandell wants to ban an act from playing London, namely Nickelback.

According to the self-styled crowdfunding page, “…we are attempting to ensure that Canadian ‘rockers’ Nickelback do not come to London, England to play a gig. With your help, we can ensure that the band do not schedule any gigs here, do not attempt to come here – nor even phone here.”

Wow, for the paltry goal of £626 or 1,000 American dollars, Mandell will ban the universally reviled Canadian rockers from even phoning London? That’s a pretty lofty promise. In fact, that’s just a fraction of the £150,000 a similar Kickstarter raised in two days to get Foo Fighters to play Birmingham. However, the payoff is worth it.

“Just imagine, thousands – perhaps tens of thousands of music lovers – all not witnessing an exclusive concert by Nickelback in London. It will be glorious,” promises the campaign’s mission statement. Come on, Mandell, we’ve been hurt before.

For anyone who thinks that donating to this is the equivalent of ripping up your money and then easting the pieces, here’s the reward structure:

Rewards

$1

Email on your behalf

Your donation will result in an email, written on your behalf, to the management of Nickelback, kindly requesting that they do not play in London, England for the foreseeable future. You also get the added bonus of not seeing Nickelback.

Estimated Delivery: the foreseeable future

0 claimed

$5

Slightly more forceful email

Your donation will result in an email, written on your behalf, to the management of Nickelback, forecfully insisting that they do not play in London, England for the foreseeable future. You also get the added bonus of not seeing Nickelback.

Estimated Delivery: the foreseeable future

0 claimed

$10

Somewhat explicit email

Your donation will result in an email, written on your behalf, to the management of Nickelback, full of explicit phrases and lots of capital letters and maybe even a rude emoticon or two, imploring that they do not play in London, England – ever again. You also get the added bonus of not seeing Nickelback. Ever again.

Estimated Delivery: eternity

0 claimed

$50

Sending Nickelback’s music to Nickelback

Your donation will result in an email to Nickleback with an attached mp3 of Nickelback’s music. This way, the band will hear their own music, and likely retire immediately, thereby ensuring the success of our campaign. You also get the added bonus of not seeing Nickelback. And perhaps helping to ensure no one ever does again.

Estimated Delivery: eternity

As it stands, the auction has only received one paltry dollar. Maybe this is because it will take more than 1,000 dollars to persuade a bunch of millionaires to do anything or maybe it’s because we as a people have moved beyond Nickelback as the lazy, perfunctory pop cultural punchline.

Of course, maybe we’ve matured to the point where we’re actually donating our money to worthy causes instead of jokey attention grabs. Who can say, really?

Posted from : http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/228980/man-starts-crowdfunding-campaign-to-ban-nickelback-from-playing-london/