**UPDATE 15 OCT 2013 ((EMERGENCY)) - Oct. 22 deposition. $35 left to my name. Pls read full update below. Pls help. Thank you. MM/#Kinney
**UPDATE 23 JUL 2013**
**URGENT (avoiding impending emergency, must move now)
Whistleblower, activist, countercultural, political, artist, needs help - please consider donating now, and/or if you have time, please read this update at least? Gracious/humble thanks...
This is MM speaking directly to you. My apologies for all the text below posted as updates during crisis; they were a bit evasive/indirect for a reason. I am still not totally safe, but at this point it is pretty easy to cross-reference history, so the best I can hope for is a bit of time lag. The photo of the chocolate horse is indeed Kinney, the horse who saved my life. If you're more inclined towards animal rights/welfare/rescue, horse rescue in particular, I am quite OK with that; if you feel at all questionable about where the donated dollars will go, I will provide you with any assurances you need (within reason and the margin of safety/comfortability for all parties). I put together a wish list of immediate and direct needs; I am once again on the move as of today - I must travel, leave my current location, and work to address my health and personal problems so I can return to working for animals and continue my activism, speaking truth to power despite any consequences (with which I am already dealing; as a result of both lack of social support and active undermining by some fairly powerful people, I do not want to be a danger *or* a burden to what is left of my family due to continuing action. To summarize briefly, from my own perspective:
1) I had quite successfully participated in (some concurrent activity): a) making art/music with a political tilt - particularly in interviews; I prefer to remain independent after having learned how the industry worked and didn't want to sign my life away; b) A career with a government entity in the USA with a fairly high security clearance; the two duties never interfered with each other, as my identities never really crossed/at the time there was no real reason to worry, until crossing paths with an agent provocateur of sorts after c) leaving the agency and then the country - a faux relationship was developed under false pretense, that information was then used against me after d) I became involved in a certain horse industry and was 'outed' by the person/people I trusted (when I should have known better) which resulted in e) progressive abuse which turned severe then unspeakably horrific, resulting in f) dissolution of my career in art, while I was on hiatus musically, I had been dabbling in a bit of investigative/undercover reporting/blogging, and my 'pen name' was discovered by a source that I'd trusted/least expected (see 'c'), g) then had my identity stolen and used for nefarious purposes, mainly because h) I refused to stay silent when I refused to shut up and 'deal'/choose comfortability over truth - I knew there'd be consequences, just not as severe; I say in my other campaign, but there was tragedy on both a human and equine (horse) level; Kinney literally saved my life; it is not much of a life now, and I want to stop living like this; in order to do that, I do need to - at this point, very carefully - go public; when I speak of potential news coverage, it's not hyperbole; any kind of evasiveness is not due to any dishonesty on my part; it is necessary to protect my well-being from powerful sources until I am healthy enough again to resume activities. I must be and speak very carefully, so at the risk of sounding conspiratorial, I must *allege* (though I invite and actually welcome any sort of documentary or investigative journalist to advocate so I can do this more safely and transparently as well as more quickly - time is of the essence before the groups preempt me - thus far I have been both lucky and blessed by those close to me, but I cannot stress or put them at risk any further, which is why I am asking for collective help; essentially glamorized begging, but for the average person, I think (from experience) that it'd be more rewarding to help a specific person/cause/horse/animal than to give to some faith-based or bloated agency where the funds - speaking from experience - do NOT make their way to those in need and/or are so specific in scope that either their funds are stretched to the extreme or their constituency is very narrow - and there are not many which apply to my situation, with the exception of horse rescues, and for anyone considering donating, this is not only a professionally run organization, but well-known, solid, passionately run, and available funds go directly to the care of animals; I took great care in choosing even under extreme duress just to ensure that even if I died, the whole issue disappeared, and those in question could feel free to pursue others (people and yes, horses included), that Kinney would be able to live the rest of her life (yes, she'd miss me; I'm not skewed towards anthropomorphism but have spent enough time around horses/animals to know their consciousness and emotions...I don't ascribe to the fatally flawed and easily disproved theory of ranking 'intellgence' or sentience according to some arbitrarily decided/anthropocentric scale).
To summarize the update, I know I wrote too much, but there is more to this story than meets the eye. Anyone (particularly grassroots or independent individuals) is welcome to discuss the facts for themselves, and I do hope that I can meet any anonymous/public donor's requirement for accountability; please don't believe everything you can find on the internet and necessarily believe it is me speaking unless you question and I can specifically explain any concern). I know...this is not your usual lighthearted crowdfunding campaign; by the same token, I'm not looking for beer money or a Maui vacation out of this. I did put a junker car on the list for donation or funds specifically allocated towards one though I know that is quite unlikely; I can live in a vehicle, remain more mobile/safer, and not only be more effective but reduce reliance on any further donations; transportation is a major impediment when budget runs low, but my experience with a traveling/working band and other life skills have taught me to survive on a bare minimum and be self-sustaining even under the harshest conditions; this may be hard to understand for people of a certain background or geographic area who may not understand why public transport is highly un-ideal (though I will work with whatever resources are within my realm). In a vehicle, I could do in a single day what might otherwise take 2-3 days, perhaps a week, depending on area. I plead for your help; if not for myself, then for Kinney; she deserves better than what I can give at the moment, but when (speaking optimistically) I finally get my chance at justice or at the very least enough (deserved, for public reasons; this *could* happen to you/your life if you're suffiicently 'nosy' or find abuse/corruption at any level, including some of the 'highest' levels, abhorrent. Let me know what it will take to firm your opinion if you are considering donating and I will do my best to accomodate you. I must go; thank you for your patience trust and understanding. I/you wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy; in some ways this fate is worse than death - I'd rather live on my feet than die on my knees (or back). Thank you to all...I will be incognito for roughly a day or two outside of very limited time frames/tweets/posts on the run; not very interactive, but please at least inquire; I will be out of funds and literally begging (offline) and at the mercy of those least able to help in a couple of days. Kinney is much better, and rightfully so; please help empower me to help her as well as myself. I am still ill ('alleged' poisoning but straight up documented/provable evidence of other abuses that are even more unspeakable/abhorrent/disgusting than just the attempt on my own life). Please help.
Love, peace, *empathy* (for all),
(official update - self)
**p.s.; please note: this update supersedes and/or replaces less accurate or dated information made by others on my behalf or (in the cases of outdated) myself - please also note that though I've replaced 'rewards' with 'wish list' in order to clarify specific needs and allow potential donors to allocate funds to specific needs, I'm open to either non-$ donations, investigation/advocacy/independent journalist/reporter/advocates, and am also not in a position to turn down any offer conditional on any reward you wish, so contact me. Tweet, email, DM on Facebook if nec.; please respect my privacy and safety, but you will get what info/assurances you need** - peace
Yes I think we all know - perhaps for the best - that precious time/life/health lost can't be bought back for $265 or any other price, though some bureaucracies would have you believe there's a price not only on life, but on different limbs, organs, digits, and even a head full of revolutionary artistic ideas.
Michael has suffered physical, mental and emotional trauma. Lured to Canada and away from a successful career by a cunning abuser who offered love and affection over the course of two years, extended an offer of marriage, and offered a dream to live and work together growing and developing a horse rescue operation, Michael - an avowed feminist who studied such topics - thought he was too cautious, too intelligent, too observant, and educated by both a history of domestic abuse in his own family as well as who studied it as part of the degrees he obtained in Univesity; however, sociopaths and psychopaths can be charming much like narcissistic serial killers. His abuser had been an advocate for marriage equality, civil rights, and other progressive social issues and was (and still is) a respected member of the community who presents a much different face to the public regarding his persona than what he is like alone and behind closed doors. The first horse which Michael rescued suffered an injury within months of his arrival. As a newcomer to Canada, he had brought a couple of years of savings so he would not become financially dependent, and relied on expertise in developing computer software and databases, preceded by years of experience as a horse trainer. He was educated in the social sciences, and played music with people for whom gender equality was a central theme in their unique performance art; Michael was involved heavily in extracurricular activities as his career afforded him not only a generous salary which allowed him free time, the ability to pursue meaningful and active hobbies, and indulge in his creative side. Upon arrival, his partner did not live up to all the expectations, but Michael considered this to be normal relationship compromise, the 'honeymoon period' that gives way to the reality of living together and forming a household with someone. Meanwhile, he worked to finish the immigration paperwork which had initially been started by the couple but which soon was being pursued and paid for out of the savings that had been meant to form a meaningful, collaborative household with a new freedom and simpler life than the bureaucratic, politically-oriented life he had left - lucrative in a more direct and earthy way instead of an ethereal and almost stereotypical intangible corporate lifestyle where the accumulation of wealth and property was its own goal, even for a fairly idealistic individual who was pragmatic enough to work within the boundaries he was given to create a unique but lonely niche that, in retrospect, made him vulnerable and let down his guard when attention was lavished upon him and the dream of a simple, pastoral Canadian life just hours away, a future spent with a partner growing old in pursuit of a very real and achievable dream which many across Canada are able to enjoy due to hard work, an earnest belief in what they are doing, and a genuineness and uniquely Canadian passion for both pursuit of common good for the community and the rights of an individual to pursue the dreams that they see fit.
**NOTE - YOU WILL NOT SEE PICTURES OR VIDEO RIGHT AWAY, AS IT IS STILL UNSAFE TO POST IDENTIFYING INFORMATION; VERIFICATION OF IDENTITY IS ASSURED AND AVOIDANCE IS NOT DELIBERATE - AS FOR VIDEO, HE ALSO DOES NOT WISH TO APPEAR ON VIDEO IN HIS CURRENT STATE UNTIL HIS APPEARANCE IMPROVES SLIGHTLY; PLEASE BE CERTAIN THAT LACK OF PHOTO/VIDEO IS NOT A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT TO BE ANONYMOUS - GIVEN THE NATURE OF THE INCIDENT/CRIME, VISUAL ANONYMITY IS KEY TO SAFETY, BUT ID IS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST FOR PRIVATE VIEWERS AND OLDER PICTURES ARE ABLE TO BE POSTED AS NEEDED OR REQUESTED TO AFFIRM VERACITY OF FUNDRAISING - THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING**
It is hard to believe, but a series of tragedies which almost caused his life to turn from that of the artistic to that of a statistic has left him with medical, legal, and document retrieval that is necessary if he is ever to pass the first phase of escape and healing and return to support underground music and art as both a material contributor and an avid local advocate whose presence is missed by many. While he's survived, his health and life is now being drained slowly instead of instantly by leaving him to fight both bureaucracy, budget, and battering. Escaping the current situation will require an overall budget above what it costs to feed/clothe/return him to health via diet, nutrition and return to a safe environment. Though we've outlined the steps which we hope will sequentially return him to full function (a hand, a withered body desperately in need of strengthening/physiotherapy, and immediate removal from and legal protection from not only the hit-and-run driver which took away part of his function, but the partner/caretaker who was supposed to nurture what could have been a brief(er) return to recovery instead brutalized and caused further damage via abuse - domestic abuse for which there is not just inadequate funding but in many cases none but legal recourse.
While he does have *some* aid available pro bono, the legal aspects are complex; yet one thing which is mandatory and which will not be waived are the fees to replace documents which were lost likely in the accident and more sometime in its aftermath when they were left unguarded. Sadly and ironically, this is someone who put a new musical release, a new local horse project, and reduced income to take care of another person who was diagnosed with cancer, and at the time whose survival hung just as perilously in the balance. We are hoping that the irony about which he was/is totally conscious will continue, as the person tried to (have to say 'allegedly' here for procedural reasons) finish him off and empty his head will realize just how full of desire his head is for creativity when finding ways to return to doing not only what he was, but for finding ways to help advance justice in a system which has not found a way to include Michaels victimizers in its range of punishable transgressions. That will come with time and a return to a family which works hard (and plays by the rules, to borrow a phrase) and has selflessly agreed to let him return to the USA and subsidize his rest, respite, time, and care needed for a full return to function; that can be funded at a later stage, but this current stage (double entendre intended for one whose talents included those of a stage performer) is perhaps the easiest, quickest to fund, yet most time-sensitive of them all. He needs to replace: 1) Passport, 2) Identification/Driver's License (budgetarily the most sensible form of ID, assuming success in subsequent stages returns him to driving), and either bus passes and/or gas money involved in traveling to the US Embassy to replace them. The estimate is low, but some expenses are being paid for by family, friends, and his own funds, but all budgets are strained without a bit of help and a strong start. This is where you can help with even small donations. Hopefully that was an adequate summary; this is one in a series of updates which we hope will continue as progress is made and any funding which generous donors can make at this site would help to facilitate. He can write and create some, so has offered to share whatever he can in gratitude; upon full and even partial recovery any and every donor at any and every 'stage' can request and will receive their choice of either a requested gift of thanks, or one 'to be named later' as he thinks of them. Not in lieu of, but in addition to future gifts as his abilities improve further. Thank you. Ask, and you shall receive. Again this is the most self-explanatory stage, and the easiest, so this is a great place to start. Updates will be made available on a frequent periodic basis as goals are achieved so you can see your contribution(s) at work! Just ask.
Fund Trip Home to USA - stuck like a real-life Viktor Navorski in 'The Terminal' - victim Mic M. needs to replace documents, obtain travel quickly and before abuser finds out; return safe, begin again.
Amazed I found a site that allows incremental payouts. I wrote the below text for the usual 'all or nothing' site. How are you going to be at $0, manage to convince the 3rd person that you can get from $30 to $2000 in a month, and a week before - if you're lucky and/or popular, you're at $1437 and practically begging, buffering multiple tweets and emailing until your friends are sorry they ever helped in the first place, and hoping the site has the gravitas/popularity to attract anon donors.
My emergency is real. It also happens to be able to be solved sequentially. This introduces accountability; I can say once that I had to use funds for an unexpected expense. However, if a friend were to send $50 and say 'fax me yr receipt or just yr DL when ya get it and I'll think about $100 for that next thing' - there you go. Trust. I show my friend $35 receipt from DMV, $6 bus trip, a $2 lunch while waiting, and I got a fiver for tomorrow's bus ride. (S)he knows I've used it properly, I feel good that (s)he knows, I have an incremental plan, those first few steps are critical, get me out of death mode and into at least a more safe zone where I have my docs should I need to flee, or at least can wait on the mail for 2-3 weeks and in the meantime I can keep moving forward. Eat. Go to health appts. Get medicine. Spend time out of house. Eventually save for apartment. As people see life turn around and see that they're saving a life, ,and as I gain/re-gain faith in people again, it snowballs. So forget any other links I've tweeted. I think this is what I needed - I don't have 30 days to wait to *start*, and I don't need 3K in my pocket all at once to get started. And yep, I have a debit card. It's easy - accountability, dates, everything. Sometimes simplicity is genius; the less rules you think of, the more orderly your venue/site. Apologies for any repeats, but I'll do my best to edit when I have time, as I complete tasks (hopefully! I am being very casual in the face of danger. It's like...shell-shock. Cabrini Green. Crooklyn. New Jack, South Central - N Memphis. E St. Louis. I could go on, but forget it - cost breakdown below. Please help, and when you see I'm responsible, perhaps others will follow suit for the higher-value projects which will generate $ on their own).
Help an isolated male domestic abuse victim escape - need IDs, safe place, a bit of food while traveling, ideas - help!
I know - why not just go grab a tank of fuel and a backpack and go? I wish it were that simple. I have physical barriers, and the people who are supposed to be caring for me are taking advantage of my vulnerability. I'm writing you from a damp, dark basement. I feel hopeless, helpless (and am to an extent), and am hanging by a thread. I budget extremely well, and live frugally. The reason a couple of hundred bucks won't fix my situation is unbelievably long, but lack of mobility and purposeful cruelty, along with lack of services for me (not being a citizen of this country) is a good start. My human rights are being violated. In many ways, prison would be preferable to this, but I have no criminal record. I will list my expenses, and justify them - please don't dismiss me out-of-hand; I''m not a hack, someone looking to fund 'Spring Break' videos, or raise $ from my parent's basement. I am driven, I'm (luckily) educated, very frugal, and if this is the end, well - I had an interesting life. I'll use that phrase to begin an alternate reality. I am just hoping this is the beginning of a journey. We're not talking 'tough times' or 'making do' - we're talking imminent danger and death. Help may or may not arrive in time, so I'm starting now and am hoping to catch the right person's attemtion. I can write, could work if given the right circumstances, but life is excruciating. I hope you'll consider funding my trip - home - as much as you'd consider funding a drinking frenzy, or bohemian trip through old-school Europe (or worse yet, a Europe reunion show - nevermind, kids).
Objective: Get out of abusive situation, make an immediate phone call to the US Embassy stating that I now have the $ and supporting documents to return and enough to travel and bring them in person, and be able to make the homecoming call, book the cheapest travel arrangements possible - I'm not above 'living rough' or 'hard', have enough to arrange for and attend appointments which wiil improve my health and provide enough for safe/healthy travel until I can find a new clinic specializing in treating my condition (and the abuse that has wrecked my body), and arrive not penniless, but with enough to perhaps get a room and beginning to look for a job right away. In a sense, this would be a collaborative sociology experiment. I'll donate my body to science, if you can spare a few bucks, and if you have requests in return for your donation, contact me - I'll provide assurances that I am indeed using it as intended, improving my life, and if you'd like any art created, I will try to do that when I am safe.
Fundraising Goals/Realistic Costs:
$130 replacement passport
$65 identification replacement
$500-700 medical expenses, including a short stay for hospitalization which has been recommended and some physical therapy at $30-40/visit to strengthen withered muscles from being bedridden and not fed; antibiotics to treat bed sores, a few pharmaceutical products and vitamin shots, and a final clearance for travel home *this expense can now be reduced if I can get bus rides scheduled and blood tests done a little more quickly and go get enough food at one time that I don't feel as if my abuser's little $30 investment, no fruit/veg, no breakfast/lunch is a 'treat' when I get it. He cut my head open throwing a fit over some crap the other day, and you know what all weekends' death threats and isolation was over? A loaf of bread. Two slices, actually, and it was a ruse to get a rise, but still. Have we gotten that bad? The 'breaking bread' symbolism isn't lost on me. Bread and water in jail isn't lost. You know what, you cheap...*must* *not* *swear*-er? How about some cereal, a pudding cup for lunch, and something different than mac n cheese 5 days/week? I wouldn't have to 'steal' bread that's mine.
$300-400 for travel and at least a few snacks on the least expensive method of travel possible.
$500 extra to handle re-establishing myself immediately so I will not become a burden to my family, who is already quietly subsidizing the first stages of this, but who cannot afford to extricate me directly, even though I've been hiding $ bit-by-bit, sometimes rolls of pennies, or donated commuunity recyclables that I can retrieve a fee if I bring them in while waiting hours for different bureaucracies.
Honestly? This is low - we all know landing somewhere with $500 in yr pocket, even with a place to stay, isn't a recipe for success. I knew this at age 18. This was before I'd read Barbara Ehrenreich's master-stroke 'Nickel n' Dimed'. I own very few books newer than 1990. I bought her hardcover; the best soc book since 'Ain't No Makin' It', is applied sociology, quantifies things, simultaneously heartbreaking, and I was long out of school when I saw it. I couldn't remember the last time I bought a book. Why, when I have the internet? But I gave a friend this book in...I think 2009 or 2010 for his present. He finally cracked it open, because honestly, my previous recommendation of 'The Jungle' was a bit heavy....and he didn't follow my directions to read Orwell then Huxley and work his way back. But he addicted himself to Ehrenreich. Literary/sociological crack. It's exactly what I did, but I didn't write about it. Now I have something to write a *book* about - not just an album, or lyrics - not to make light of it, but my dark world is starting to show cracks of light. Though I still haven't received a cent from this campaign, and I might still be broke in a week, lol. But...I am going to have faith *someone* will want to help - bus tix; food, just like when I'd lend out $500 like it wasn't a thing, and $100 was a giveaway/tip for my colleague, I'm thinking you can slum it with $0.99 gas station coffee and skip the Starbuck's for a week, and you won't even have to wait for a pic from a faraway continent or for your $20 to unknowingly be used in aggregate as payola for a dictator to allow $2 of gov't rice to reach your adoptee. Anyway...back to seriousness. I know I'm going to be sick for a while. I couldn't even get my medicine this week It's sitting there at the pharm. And for me to get it, I either have to hike 5 mi (round trip) or spend $5.50 to pick up free medication. Or wait til I have other business - a blood test on Wed. But I didn't get that ride - overbooked. So I changed appt for Thu. That's what I mean about needing flexibility. I also understand the concept of budget flexibility, adapting to the needy's needs as they occur, and how to adapt in ways that help a person achieve discrete and reachable goals, yes, but also allow for them to not get discouraged or feel they need to put off an emerg/surprise expense to prioritize the earmarked funds first and in strict order. It is this firsthand understanding which I've found the best social workers (or bands, or...horse trainers, or anyone) to possess. And yes, I have my horse to think about too. So maybe I can negotiate help with board for a month so I don't have to worry about her health/safety because someone wanted to kill me but couldn't get their hands on me. And if I'm to write about others, which would be tough without actually intervening/helping, I'd like the chance to show 'proof' to people that can make it happen - if I've got another album, or spoken-word in me (or 10 of 'em) - let me show ya. Anyway, it's getting late. I'd better go. And get this published. I'll edit. Pardon the length. But every word is true, verifiable, and every bit ASAP will help. Save a life indeed. That's why I was saying name what you want, cause I'll write your term paper for $20. Just let me see my plan is actually viable and starting. Or else posthumous is fine w/me. Because a burning, empty stomach and un(der)treated pain is worse than the alternative. Being berated while you're at it = purgatory at the very least on Earth. Haven't even gotten to the willful sleep deprivation yet. But if you're with me, you'll be able to see what will likely make headlines tomorrow. If not that, then you'll get to share the ride of a real-life evolving diary. You share, I share what I can. What goes around comes around. All cliches have a basis in fact.
Being good at saving and scrimping, the cost of public transportation roughly $12-15 per trip if close, more if far, and special needs accommodation not recognized for out-of-towners but allowed by special circumstance when I had a couple of incidents, including a fall which damaged a cell phone - my only contact with the outside world - beyond repair, on the regular bus due to my inability to take that (the fare is the same) for more than a few miles/an hour at a time; I also live in a rural part of town where the walk would be nearly an hour to the nearest bus stop if I could make that walk. I set the funding bar as low as I could to cover fees for running the campaign, so any extra will go towards raising awareness so that not only will Americans with disabilities and other vulnerable travelers can become aware of the dangers of traveling in even 'safe' foreign countries, to repay the kindness of local people who have recognized my plight and lent a few dollars here and there, or rides where I couldn't compensate for gas. I do not receive disability assistance of any kind; I'm ineligible here, my medical records are in the States, and my shelter and food costs have been misappropriated, and I receive $235/monh, most of which is taken from me/spoken for the day it is issued - no exceptions to the rule. I work when I can, but am getting sicker and sicker. So you will be a life-saver, literally - and I will keep in touch; I am even considering self-publishing my daily journals. This campaign will definitely receive a mention, and every contributor from $1 up will be mentioned. The faster I get to the goal, the faster I get out of here, the more I have left, and the more I can do - I have an odd feeling I will either achieve $0 or, with your help, go *over* my bare-bones expenses and be able to provide you something so that it'll be more than a donation, it will be investment in a life....and as promised here's the phrase kicking off some background:
I had an interesting life. After reading, if you'd like to correspond, I can share a few private stories w/those who support, because I am safe only when in front of a computer and must be quiet, so music/lyrics and writing are my saving grace - those pursuits, knowledge, documentaries - and headphones - are what have saved me, literally, from worse abuse, or from self-harm due to complete inability to cope; however, I've been told since, due to the time period I spent there at the time when I played and there were amazing musical things happening (they never stopped), in addition to my experiences when younger, brushes with homelessness to which I did not succumb but pulled myself out of, traveled a good portion of the country playing in a small band, living a sort of 'gonzo' lifestyle that would lend itself to modern 'beat' or 'merry prankster' or even Hunter S. Thompson encounters/engagements with some....'characters', I lived through things which some can't even imagine. I was clinically dead for a few minutes in an accident when I was younger. I self-released a record in SoCal (SanDiego) while working for Jerry Springer's call center (yes, they hired all the way out to CA, off Sorrento Valley), Barbour-Langley Productions (of 'Cops' fame), and Giorgio Beverly Hills, plus for a beer company - those were my cleaner jobs, as opposed to sifting through conveyors of household trash and pulling out recyclables, and other lovely 'dirty jobs' - reality TV before it was televised-type jobs. I've been a horse trainer, amateur and pro, and have been successful at that - using gentle techniques I developed at age 15 way before 'The Horse Whisperer' came out. I worked for the State of Washington in the state Capitol, Olympia, WA - known to some as the birthplace of movements such as 'grunge', 'riot grrl', and amazing DIY record companies such as 'K Records' (started/run by Calvin Johnson), and 'Kill Rock Stars' - a figuratively-named company of course, recognized mainly for starting the 'riot grrl' movement - both companies are still active in the area today (Olympia, WA and Portland, OR, as well as Seattle, where Sub Pop (best known for breaking Nirvana, but who started with bands such as Soundgarden, Green River, Malfunkshun (later Mother Love Bone), and others, who would later become Pearl Jam, Mudhoney (who is still releasing albums with the original label, deciding to stay at home in Seattle, eschewing the rock star lifestyle as is pretty common among Olympia/WA/'Northwest'-based bands), working with scientists on environmental issues, and helping to write computer programs that not only kept the seaports and coastlines of Washington free from pollution and organisms by identifying likely sources of pollution, mostly from tanks aboard large container ships from commercial companies flying the flags of nearly every country in the world that treated the USA coastline and Puget sound like their own personal toilet bowl, and brought together people from all ideologies and walks of life - conservationists, environmentalists, and even those so-called 'unlikely bedfellows' - business leaders and conservative Republican politicians and business leaders, who realized that the fishing industry was at risk of being decimated, that municipal water pipes can be clogged by things like zebra mussels, tourism can be affected when local businesses on the shoreline become infected/affected, and business of all sorts that is affected when things like didemnum - which some call 'sea vomit', for good reason. I was hired to be 3rd in line, Washington State was the first to react to the threats, and yet there were 3 of us, eventually 4, who were tasked by the governor to use our unique skills at lobbying (the gov's appointee), public awareness (my boss's job), computer and database management with creative solutions (me) and an inspector - whose territory included a impossible range from Bellingham all the way down to Vancouver - and whose job I could make much easier simply by identifying a % chance that a ship would falsify a report (lending itself by logical extension to the question: what else are they lying about? I started the job pre 9/11, and nothing changed. Afterwards, concerned citizens helped to chip in and fund our project, joining the coalition of the so-called 'left' and 'right' to actually solve a problem (we were a bit late, but not as late as states and provinces that are suffering badly now, causing oil tankers and others to have to go 50nm offshore because Alaska, BC, and other places didn't respond timely (I'll qualify that with an 'in my opinion' to avoid any legal weirdness) enough to avoid problems that were already affecting fishermen, the public, and business of all sizes throughout not only the state, but downstream - remember this is only one species and one problem/consequence, but who wants to go deep-sea fishing/diving, pull up fishing nets only to see entire catches of Pacific salmon suffocated by something that looks like either an oversized microscopic fungus gone wild or an alien or moon-scape of one pockmarked, mucous-colored but fast-growing/dominant organism, and of course, who wants to go to the aquarium and bring their young children only to see this: http://www.serc.si.edu/labs/marine_invasions/citizen_science/D_ vex update%20May 2011.pdf ?
So that's part of who I was. Played music for my downtime. I started that job in my late 20s. I was lucky, but made the most of my opportunities. Since then? A few successful years, then tragedy struck. I'd like my life's saga to continue. I'd like to write that book, the new album, find my next niche, publish journals, start a non-profit to help those suffering from some of the tragedies, conditions, and abuses from which I've suffered/am suffering, to feel like I experienced this for a reason: to improve human rights in all ways. Will you help me continue writing my story? To wrap up how I wound up here, I left for what I thought would be a chance to personally bring expertise and further earning power to a place that desperately needed education such as this, and where I had found someone to love, or who I thought I loved, and loved me but it was either a clever ruse, perhaps it was the 'idea' of me, and not me as me, that was loved - I could analyze that to death but *need* safety and space, a bit of distance to analyze that, to heal in all ways, eventually being able to write in more detail about it (lest I've lulled you to sleep or with a false sense of calm by calming myself, but please remember I'm asking for help here - I am going to ask for help in other venues as well, wherever I can, so don't be surprised to hear my words elsewhere; you may even hear or see fragments of things which I've already published or am ready to publish when well, so at any time a mysterious benefactor could swoop in and cover a still relatively-young artist, but I'm not holding my breath, and I've also been told I probably do not have that long left, so...hopefully it's not an 'appreciated after dead' sort of situation - I'm honestly not trying to be coy, but if my abuser happens to hit a site by accident, I have to roll and won't have time to set up campaigns and write and such...so as I beg for the next chapter, I'll finish up here). I did manage, amazingly, to hold on to my position for a couple years after moving, and made incredible money - much of which I saved, but some of which I gave away and also had a dream of an animal rescue interrupted by the accident, subsequent worsening of my original condition due to lack of expenses and deciding what had to be treated before other symptoms led to a downward spiral even though in some ways I'd become a victim of my own success): as soon as our State-funded and affiliated (I was a State employee, and for the grant funds, I spent and accounted for my funds using billing codes that were provided with accountability - which is why I offer total transparency when you donate, and a piece of whatever I'm able to achieve - I'll let my story and writing, poorly-edited run-on sentences notwithstanding, speak for itself, but if you have an idea for a more substantial donation, let me earn it when I'm able and safe) - a sort of State and privately-funded cooperative amalgamation, pretty groundbreaking for the time, especially when the politics of Red/Blue were more divisive than ever, where the unfunded part of the State law(s) mandate left off is when the other funds kicked in, unless earmarked for specific species or areas, etc.; our program was sort of left alone, but because our team was so talented and cooperative - almost like a music 'band' in its own right, started bringing in *millions* per year instead of just enough to pay a couple meager salaries and, in my case, 3/4 of one, if I was lucky (which led to me working a bit extra when needed, but also being able to take time off when it was 'slower' and play music in one of the most amazing areas at the most amazing times. I seriously close my eyes and imagine the simple joy of the daily grind of work, even at a job I kinda enjoyed because it was important; I never expected to miss it *that* much. I just wanted to let you know you'd be dealing with someone who knows how to manage money - both on a major level, as a pro, and as someone who played in a band since age 19, hit the road, and often would get stuck when we'd barely make enough gas to get to the next gig, and eat if we were *lucky* - off the $1 menus, usually. I wish I could still live on $7 in a day on some weeks (augmented by day labor, plasma donation if eligible, and every single legal way to bring in cash that you probably still couldn't think of) for 3 young people, but I can't. My medicine costs more than that. Stuff is more expensive these days. And where I am...even a can of beans isn't cheap. Help an isolated domestic abuse victim escape - need ID, safe place, a bit of food while traveling, ideas - help! I've got a certain amount saved, and am making the same unholy choices many of us have to make - medicine or heat? Food or phone bill? But I've got a supportive system back in the States. Help me escape, help me help myself, help me get home safely, and help raise awareness of domestic violence - definitely underreported (as prevalent as it is) among women throughout history until more women became aware and willing to report to preserve their lives, and the education and awareness has paid off; however, due to pride and other issues, 'underreporting' is a gross understatement when it comes to men - because of gender stereiotypes expecting men to 'buck up' and take 'tongue-lashings' - this goes way beyond that. It's considered the most underreported violent crime in the world. Many men will die rather than admit being abused. I'm not just stuck - I've told my story, and because of prejudice of all sorts, even authorities and social workers, doctors, hospitals and other health workers, and those in the general community simply don't believe me. So I keep getting victimized, and there is *nowhere* to turn to get myself back on track - no disrespect to feminism, as I support shelters and programs for batered women strongly - it's a human right. But I'm mired in a system in which there is no place for me to seek justice. And yes, I was assaulted, am sick and injured (was hit by a vehicle) and my whole life has been put on hold; my own vulnerability as a person with physical problems is being used as pretext to prey on me further. Follow this link for more information on what's been called 'the most underreported violent crime' here, and find at least 72 reasons, but please don't forget I've got that going against me as I struggle to get back home - all I am asking for is a bit of a fair shake, to return home, and I do have a plan. as outlined above. Here's that link: http://www.dvmen.org/dv-31.htm" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204); font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> http://www.dvmen.org/dv-31.htm . Not to be fatalistic, but I've gathered up all the strength I could to write this, I've got more to add still, and I can and will answer any questions that come in, should I be lucky enough for this campaign even to be seen, taken seriously, and funded? Making it until tomorrow is just a dream. I couldn't imagine the impact even a couple thousand would have, and if it went above? Oh, please don't allow me to think about that, to dream - to have false hope is the most cruel thing, and again - not to be histrionic, but I think this is either my deathbed confession (so to speak - my legacy) or my triumph of a new beginning, so I can't help but leak hyperbole - as I said, probably for nothing, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I *hate* begging - even for the best causes, but this is what I've now been reduced to doing. Welcome to rock-bottom - without at least the decadent run beforehand. Work hard and play by the rules? Someone tell me that's not a cruel type of 'opiate for the masses' phrase I believed like a fool. Thanks for reading my magnum opus. Was it worth $10 to you? $20? Let me know...thank you and I guess I will know soon enough. Peace.